With grateful heart I write this post to say thank you for all of your love and support. We have had a heck-of-a-week and it hasn't even been a week.
I am grateful for my family. The love that I receive from them.
I am grateful for my friends and the extra support that they give in time of need.
I am grateful for medicine and the miracles it can perform.
I am grateful for Emma and the extended "date" that we've had these last couple of days.
Mostly... I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. It is through the people listed above that He has blessed me. It is through the hands and spirits of His children that I am buoyed up and can continue forward.
My heart is full and my tear ducts are exhausted as I say thank you for everything.
-Lana
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Mutiny in Primary Children Rm 4408
So apparently we are in the protesting phase. She's NOT happy. This morning she had to take 6 pills and she gritted her teeth and screamed.
At times like these I go back and forth between trying to be understanding and loving to wanting to ground her. She's old enough to understand and to realize it must be done, but then again, who wouldn't want to throw a fit.Today they had to change the dressing on her portacatheter (don't know if I'm saying it right) and I think that was painful for her. Bandage burns are the least of her worries, but they hurt.
No fevers for almost 24 hours which is a true blessing. They were so high and made her super uncomfortable and cranky.
The pee has gone back to it's original color which cuts down on the bathroom excitement, but we know she's clearing out the drug. Have I told you that her waste is a biohazard? If we come into contact with it, it must be rinsed off immediately. Which means I have to wear rubber gloves and make sure that Emma and I both stay clean. Crap, where's my HAZMAT suit? I swear I picked one up at DI.
Lots of well wishers and love. I feel it coming from every direction.
Many, many thanks.-Lana
At times like these I go back and forth between trying to be understanding and loving to wanting to ground her. She's old enough to understand and to realize it must be done, but then again, who wouldn't want to throw a fit.Today they had to change the dressing on her portacatheter (don't know if I'm saying it right) and I think that was painful for her. Bandage burns are the least of her worries, but they hurt.
No fevers for almost 24 hours which is a true blessing. They were so high and made her super uncomfortable and cranky.
The pee has gone back to it's original color which cuts down on the bathroom excitement, but we know she's clearing out the drug. Have I told you that her waste is a biohazard? If we come into contact with it, it must be rinsed off immediately. Which means I have to wear rubber gloves and make sure that Emma and I both stay clean. Crap, where's my HAZMAT suit? I swear I picked one up at DI.
Lots of well wishers and love. I feel it coming from every direction.
Many, many thanks.-Lana
Monday, November 24, 2008
Utah is Beautiful but I'd rather be in Idaho
Another day at Primary Childrens. Such nice people, super great doctors and nurses. Really wierd oncologists. What a perfect combination!
Emma had surgery yesterday (Sunday 23) and everything was successful. They did the spinal tap and found no bad cells, but put chemo in the spinal fluid to kill any just in case. The bone marrow draw was full of leukemia and looked very text book for what she has. They also put the catheter port in just below her left breast and it's plastic not metal. I was sad she wouldn't be setting off any metal detector alarms. They put her on narcotics which made her super strange and kind of funny, but also quite bossy and angry.
The port area is in a lot of pain today and she's had a headache, back ache and serious discomfort. Her left hand and both of her feet are super swollen. The hand looks like you took a rubber glove and blew it up like a balloon. It's really cute, but also sad. The swelling should go down soon. I think it's like having a baby. The day you deliver you don't feel as bad as the day after you deliver. I'm hoping tomorrow she's a bit better and stronger.
They gave her her first round of chemotherapy this evening. One has a name that starts with a V, one is a steroid, and the other is called donnarubison (I'm sure I spelled it wrong). I remember this one because I think it sounds like someone's name. Anyway, it's pink and they call it "little red." It makes her pee pink. Princess Pee I call it.
Jeff is catching a ride home tomorrow with Brek & Emily. I will miss him, but am happy he'll be with the boys. I think if I were them I would feel lonely... people talking about their family, knowing their sister has cancer, etc.
It doesn't sound like we'll be home until next Tuesday. Can I last another week?
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Pray that the chemo will work because if it does, she should have a full recovery! That's the hope and that's the plan.
-Lana
Ps. Remember how I was getting super buff and physically fit? Well I just climbed up to the fourth floor and I think just possibly I might pass out. Atrophy bites!!
Emma had surgery yesterday (Sunday 23) and everything was successful. They did the spinal tap and found no bad cells, but put chemo in the spinal fluid to kill any just in case. The bone marrow draw was full of leukemia and looked very text book for what she has. They also put the catheter port in just below her left breast and it's plastic not metal. I was sad she wouldn't be setting off any metal detector alarms. They put her on narcotics which made her super strange and kind of funny, but also quite bossy and angry.
The port area is in a lot of pain today and she's had a headache, back ache and serious discomfort. Her left hand and both of her feet are super swollen. The hand looks like you took a rubber glove and blew it up like a balloon. It's really cute, but also sad. The swelling should go down soon. I think it's like having a baby. The day you deliver you don't feel as bad as the day after you deliver. I'm hoping tomorrow she's a bit better and stronger.
They gave her her first round of chemotherapy this evening. One has a name that starts with a V, one is a steroid, and the other is called donnarubison (I'm sure I spelled it wrong). I remember this one because I think it sounds like someone's name. Anyway, it's pink and they call it "little red." It makes her pee pink. Princess Pee I call it.
Jeff is catching a ride home tomorrow with Brek & Emily. I will miss him, but am happy he'll be with the boys. I think if I were them I would feel lonely... people talking about their family, knowing their sister has cancer, etc.
It doesn't sound like we'll be home until next Tuesday. Can I last another week?
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Pray that the chemo will work because if it does, she should have a full recovery! That's the hope and that's the plan.
-Lana
Ps. Remember how I was getting super buff and physically fit? Well I just climbed up to the fourth floor and I think just possibly I might pass out. Atrophy bites!!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I Believe
My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved.
Always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal.
It's 12:44 am. Nights are very difficult. I am scared. Pray for many angels.
Thank you.
-Lana
Always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal.
It's 12:44 am. Nights are very difficult. I am scared. Pray for many angels.
Thank you.
-Lana
Angels from Heaven Here on Earth
So... where do I start?
As most of you have heard, I took Emma to Primary Childrens yesterday 11/21. Dr Graham called me and wanted some more blood from Emma because she had spiked a high fever the night before. The blood showed high levels of white blood cells and so we came to Primary to comfirm Leukemia. After more tests, Leukemia is what she has. It's hard to see her suffer as she's in a lot of pain, but I'm excited to have a plan of attack and know what we are dealing with.
She has ALL which is the best kind of Leukemia to get, meaning it responds the best to the treatment.Basically what the drs are going to do is give her chemotherapy until there are no messed up white blood cells. I asked how long this would take and the standard gold star treatment is 2 1/2-3 years. The time frame on this disease causes me more stress than anything. I have no doubt it will be treated properly and will be cured, it's just disheartening that it takes so long. The doctor (who is quite the little oncologist nerd, who else would I want on my team?) said for the most part, she will still go to school and do normal things.
She will be going in tomorrow for a spinal tap (remember the movie?) and a bone marrow draw. This will determine how aggressive the treatment we will start off with. If it's in her spinal fluid, they will be very aggressive. Her high white cell count puts her at a high level of aggressiveness (is that a word?) already so I don't know if it will be any different. She will receive her first blast of chemo tomorrow.
Also tomorrow, she will get a small disc put under the skin above her chest. This will hold a catheter inside of her that will be used to draw blood and inject chemo. I guess you only see a small buldge under her skin when it's all put in. As far as I know it is metal which will be quite fun because maybe she'll set off metal detector alarms and also she can match Jack and Ashton.
She seems to be in high spirits. She was in a lot of pain this morning, but we busted out the oxycotin and she's been out, I mean totally stoned, hilarious! I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love narcotics.
We will most likely be here for a minimum of another week. The food's not too bad and maybe we'll get something special for Thanksgiving like Cafe Rio (it's just down the street).
A super huge shout out to all who have called and expressed concern. Please, please pray for her to have strength and be about to fight this. Also please pray for me to have peace as I am having a real struggle finding any calm in this storm.
I love my angels that are surrounding me and am thankful that they were plucked from heaven to be placed here on earth to help me.
I will write more when I know more.-Lana
ps. Love flowers, but can't have them in the room as they might carry germs.
Hey, I didn't make the dumb rule. Dont' shoot the messenger.
As most of you have heard, I took Emma to Primary Childrens yesterday 11/21. Dr Graham called me and wanted some more blood from Emma because she had spiked a high fever the night before. The blood showed high levels of white blood cells and so we came to Primary to comfirm Leukemia. After more tests, Leukemia is what she has. It's hard to see her suffer as she's in a lot of pain, but I'm excited to have a plan of attack and know what we are dealing with.
She has ALL which is the best kind of Leukemia to get, meaning it responds the best to the treatment.Basically what the drs are going to do is give her chemotherapy until there are no messed up white blood cells. I asked how long this would take and the standard gold star treatment is 2 1/2-3 years. The time frame on this disease causes me more stress than anything. I have no doubt it will be treated properly and will be cured, it's just disheartening that it takes so long. The doctor (who is quite the little oncologist nerd, who else would I want on my team?) said for the most part, she will still go to school and do normal things.
She will be going in tomorrow for a spinal tap (remember the movie?) and a bone marrow draw. This will determine how aggressive the treatment we will start off with. If it's in her spinal fluid, they will be very aggressive. Her high white cell count puts her at a high level of aggressiveness (is that a word?) already so I don't know if it will be any different. She will receive her first blast of chemo tomorrow.
Also tomorrow, she will get a small disc put under the skin above her chest. This will hold a catheter inside of her that will be used to draw blood and inject chemo. I guess you only see a small buldge under her skin when it's all put in. As far as I know it is metal which will be quite fun because maybe she'll set off metal detector alarms and also she can match Jack and Ashton.
She seems to be in high spirits. She was in a lot of pain this morning, but we busted out the oxycotin and she's been out, I mean totally stoned, hilarious! I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love narcotics.
We will most likely be here for a minimum of another week. The food's not too bad and maybe we'll get something special for Thanksgiving like Cafe Rio (it's just down the street).
A super huge shout out to all who have called and expressed concern. Please, please pray for her to have strength and be about to fight this. Also please pray for me to have peace as I am having a real struggle finding any calm in this storm.
I love my angels that are surrounding me and am thankful that they were plucked from heaven to be placed here on earth to help me.
I will write more when I know more.-Lana
ps. Love flowers, but can't have them in the room as they might carry germs.
Hey, I didn't make the dumb rule. Dont' shoot the messenger.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Digitus Impudicus
FYI
In 2001 a United States appeals court ruled that the digitus impudicus ("impudent finger") is protected speech.
In Western cultures, the finger (as in giving someone the finger) is a well-known hand gesture made by extending the middle finger of the hand while bending the other fingers into the palm. A known variation includes extending the thumb as well (my personal favorite).The gesture is also known as "the bird,"
"flipping the birdie," the "highway salute,"
"you're number one in my book," (Jeff's fav)
"The New York Hello," "concert C," (haven't heard of this one) "sticking your middle finger up," "The One-fingered Salute,"
"The Canadian Turn Signal," (Brek???) or "flipping someone off."
When both hands are used, it is known as the "double-barrel salute" or the "double deuce." (this is the one I've been practicing). A variation of the gesture is also made by showing someone the back of the hand, with three fingers extended, and telling the recipient to "read between the lines," or "peel the banana." A more comical approach is to wiggle all five fingers and query, "Do you see these?" retracting all but the middle finger and state, "It's a whole flock of these." A distinct reference to the aforementioned "bird." (Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, sooo funny.)
Come on, if we knew the history behind the bird, we'd be proud to flip it. Think about it, every state has an official bird (do you know Idaho's?) even the United States has an official bird. There are thousands (well at least hundreds) of people who study ornithology (the science of birds). Bird watchers, bird photographers... people can't get enough of "the bird."
The bottom line about my personal relationship with "the bird" is that it's my friend, my ally and my constant companion. I count on it to relay the messages I have a hard time putting into words like, "I love you," "BFF," "Let's always stay true," "Stay gold Ponyboy," (the Outsiders) "We are the World, We are the Children," or on another spectrum, "I'm watching you," (two fingers pointing to my eyes, two fingers pointing to your eyes, repeat, repeat), "Get a life," "Get real" or "Honestly" (said with much sarcasm).
See... "the bird" can be used on many occasions.
To be quite frank, I've never met a bird I didn't love!
Ps. What's your favorite bird?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Aprons
Would love to win this apron http://inevergrewup.net/giveaway-14-something-pretty-for-mommy-hostess-aprons/.
Maybe I could pretend I keep house.
Maybe I could pretend I keep house.
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